Something about the rumble of internal combustion engines races a guy’s motor, and has ever since the days of Louis Chevrolet. But now, the macho world of gearheads (in which I grew up tinkering with the V8 in my 1955 Chevy) has been told its time is up because cars powered by hydrogen-based fuel-cell batteries will hit the roads in three or four years.

No more dual exhausts burbling at stoplights. Instead, just whispering electric propulsion that’s good for the environment because its only byproduct is a little water.

We’re being told: Gentlemen, stop your engines.

These silent autos sound too good to be true, especially to those of us nostalgic about "Hollywood" mufflers and chrome-plated exhaust manifolds. So, I have my doubts. After all, the death of the piston engine has been predicted since the days of the Stanley Steamer. Remember the Wankel rotary engine? Back in 1969, General Motors said it would "dwarf such major postwar technological developments as xerography, the Polaroid camera, and color television." We’re still waiting.

Companies are still "improving" rotary engines. British Columbia’s Reg Technologies brags that its "Rand Cam/Direct Charge" power plant has only seven moving parts. It ran, the company said, for a full three minutes in a test! We’ve also seen numerous solar-powered experimental cars—which seem to me to be mostly useful for people who like to travel in the desert.

Some of these inventions seem to come from Gyro Gearloose, the comic-strip character. India’s Reva Electric Car is introducing a teeny car that needs eight hours to recharge its battery.

As my vroom-vroom biases and I look at the world, we see some clear problems for the fuel-cell types. By one estimate, the state of fuel-cell technology from Vancouver-based Ballard Power Systems, a leading contender, means each engine today would cost 40 times the $3,500 price tag of a standard internal combustion engine. Besides, the hydrogen used in fuel cells requires specialized tanks to store it. Remember the Hindenburg? Kaboom! Also, there’s no nationwide network of friendly hydrogen stations where you can replenish your fuel cell.

Alas, I’m assured by experts that all these problems will go away—costs will come down, storage issues will get solved, and fuel cells will provide significant benefits to the environment. Moreover, federal mandates are expected.

Already, electric fuel-cell cars are promised by Ford, DaimlerChrysler, Toyota, Honda, and others. GM says its Precept will go 500 miles between fill-ups and will hit 120 mph. It goes on sale in 2003. And that’s just the beginning. Allied Business Intelligence, a consulting firm, estimates that more than 600,000 fuel-cell cars will be on the road by 2010.

But fuel-cell cars will never be popular with Cro-Magnon types. Let’s be honest about what really sells cars to people like me: emotion. Detroit’s hot new products—such as DaimlerChrysler’s Prowler hot rod, and the 12-cylinder Viper sports car—are essentially updated versions of the 1970s "muscle cars." Even the family sedan may have "fuel injection," "16-valve," or "turbo" emblazoned on its fenders.

Internal combustion engines are just a ton of fun. Back in 1990, the first Miata sports car was carefully engineered to not only look cool, but also sound great. Its tinny "exhaust note" was fine-tuned to growl like an old British MG roadster. The sound instantly raises testosterone levels.

Maybe in the 22nd century, men will love noiseless engines. But I doubt we’ll ever hear a Harley-Davidson that whistles like a golf cart.